Friday, January 9, 2015

The reality of choice

  The reality that everything is ultimately a choice has set in on a deeper level for me recently. But what I've noticed is it's not sufficient to make a choice from my mind alone, if I want to achieve the desired effect from my choice. My mind and my will must be aligned, focusing in unison, to receive the fullness of whatever I desire...whether that be to feel an emotion, an inner state, or to have an experience, an outer state.

  When I choose from my mind alone, the desired effect I want from that choice always falls short, crumbles, or doesn't manifest at all, when my will is not aligned with my mind. My will doesn't always align with my mind because my will is often insecure or because sometimes what my mind is coming up with actually feels bad to my will, for whatever reason. If I want to steer my life in a direction that I desire, and to create stability, happiness, connection, growth, balance, and satisfaction...then every choice I make in my life must come from my mind acting in unison with my will.

  For this to happen, my will and mind must be fully engaged and in communication with each other. I must give each side of myself an equal, unbiased hearing before making a choice. Collecting all the data each one has to offer, without resistance or condemnation, but with neutrally. When they disagree, it means there is a perspective one or both have brought to the table, that is not actually in alignment with my truth, and or objective reality.

  This means it's time for my mind and my will to have a conversation with each other. I call it toggling. You let your mind and your feelings go back and forth with each other, each time letting one or the other fully have the spotlight or stage. Allowing myself to fully express in this way allows for each perspective to better understand itself and the others perspective so they can integrate into a complimentary unit. This can happen when each side of myself is given complete acceptance and allowance to find balance and understanding...or in other words, to find alignment with the truth of me and objective reality. This requires on a  mental level contemplation, inquiry, and discernment. On an emotional or will level, it requires honest and vulnerable connection to all the layers of feeling I have and the ability to feel my way through my charged negative emotions so they can find balance and clarity.

  When they communicate in this way, by bouncing off each other by toggling back and forth between perspectives, understanding and eventually alignment with each other occurs. When I make a choice just from my will or just from my mind, I am really not making a choice at all, I am just in reaction mode. A choice comes from a place of understanding. And understanding is a deep realization of something, which cannot happen purely intellectually, or purely emotionally. Full realization happens when both my will and my mind find balance with each other.

  This is true choice. This is free will. Everything else is just reaction. Or not true action.